He wants me to be Happy

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything."

I hold onto anger....
I let it become me,
I wear it on my face, heart, mind & soul
I become emotionally detached when I'm angry

I am destroying everything I have, because of anger.

What am I so angry about?

Angry with the I have CHOSEN to live my life?
Angry with letting my children down when it comes to teaching the gospel?
Angry that I don't think my Husband hears me, or sees my point of view?
Angry that I have no real desire to change, no motivation?
Angry with the things I have endured in my life?
Angry that I don't have all the riches of the world?
Angry that I have let my testimony of the Church fade away?

SO MANY THINGS TO BE ANGRY AT......no wonder it destroys everything.....it's destroying me!

"If we desire to have the proper spirit with us at all times, we must CHOOSE to refrain from being angry!"

This morning I read a talk from President Monson on anger, he talked about how getting angry with someone because they don't act the way we want them to, or they don't things in the timely manner that we would.
Getting angry because of the way we might act out towards a situation, or the fact that anger is one of Satan's greatest tools in dissolving our families and relationships.

I know that I get angry way too quickly, too fast.....

I wonder how to change that at times. I just found this talk interesting enough that it pin points me to the wall. It talks about how a Father, Mother and their young child were in a car where the parents had an arguement, the Father threw a toy at the Mother but it missed and hit their son instead. The ultimate sadness is that this toy and brief anger cause brain damage and blindness to their young child. I couldn't even imagine what it would of been life to have to live with the knowledge that you are the person who is responsible for your OWN child not living a full life.
I know my children have not had the best of a Mother, the way a Mother should be and that is one of my biggest regrets in this life.

I can't go back, only forward.

Today I make a promise to myself to not be angry.

To find happiness in everything I do, from work to being home with my family.

It it a CHOICE to be HAPPY or ANGRY!!

I wonder why at times I have allowed my life to get so far out of control, where do I think I was going to go with the way I have acted, the way I have let things get over taken by the weeds that are choking my very breathe as well as sucking anything I have to offer out.

I wish I knew deep down inside, oh wait I do know deep down inside.....
Why won't I let that part out? Why am I keeping that part of WHAT I do know hidden?

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me, that KNOWS me, that would do anything for me.....

BUT

I also have to come unto him, share myself with him, share my desires, my fears, my happiness, my everything with him for him to be able to reach me. I can't be selfish anymore and not give to my Heavenly Father.

"I need my Heavenly Father, to help me every day,
He wants me to be happy, and choose the righteous way.
He wants me to be happy, and choose the righteous way."

Oh how I love Primary songs, always so uplifting and comforting to me.

I do need my Heavenly Father, he does love me, he does want me to be happy!!!